Everybody Fights: So Why Not Get Better at It?

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· Thomas Nelson · Narrated by Kim Holderness and Penn Holderness
4.9
16 reviews
Audiobook
6 hr 54 min
Unabridged
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About this audiobook

A USA Today and Wall Street Journal bestseller!

Learn how to fight better and end your arguments with your partner feeling closer, more loved, and better understood.

We take our cars in for oil changes. We mow our lawns and pull weeds. Why don't we do maintenance on our marriages? This relationship is the most important one we will ever have, so why not get better at it?

For the last several years, Penn and Kim Holderness of The Holderness Family have done the hard maintenance and the research to learn how to fight better. With the help of their marriage coach Dr. Christopher Edmonston, they break down their biggest (and in some cases, funniest) fights. How did a question about chicken wings turn into a bra fight (no, not a bar fight or a bra fight)? How did a roll of toilet paper lead to tears, resentment, and a stint in the guest bedroom?

With their trademark sense of humor and complete vulnerability, Penn and Kim share their 10 most common Fight Fails and how to combat them. Throughout the book, they offer scripts for how to start, continue, and successfully close hard conversations. Couples will emerge equipped to engage and understand, not do battle—and maybe laugh a little more along the way.

In Everybody Fights, couples will learn how to:

  • Use "magic words" for healthy conflict resolution
  • Address unspoken and unrealistic expectations
  • Banish the three Ds of unhealthy communication—distraction, denial, and delay
  • Carry individual baggage while helping your partner deal with theirs

Penn and Kim want you to know you're not alone. Everybody fights. Marriage is messy. Marriage is work. But marriage is worth it. Fight for it!

Ratings and reviews

4.9
16 reviews
Jenny Guerrero
May 18, 2021
I am so glad that I chose the audiobook version for this, as it is hilarious! I’m sure the book is great too, it’s just that the authors narrated themselves and it was amusing and good! This book is not here to like tell you how to run your life and marriage alright, and they are a real married couple who is sharing what they learned with each other and their relationship. The book gives the top 10 marital issues each couple can or go through, and it was spot on. It is real talk, and it’s not one-sided. It shows that marriage is composed of two different people with different points of view, and it is okay to disagree because it is part of being human! The authors also talked about how important having open communication with your significant other and how valuable it is to listen. I truly enjoyed it!
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Lilian Moskowitz
April 30, 2021
My husband and I have had very few fights. 95% of the time, we treat each other with so much love, respect, and kindness. However, when we do fight, it can escalate quickly and leave us both feeling really hurt. This book helped us find ways to deescalate arguments and turn them into productive conversations. Plus, the audio book includes funny banter and even some silly songs that make the book fly by - in the end, I thought "is it over already?" My overall takeaway from this book is to keep in mind, even during our worst fights, that the goal of our marriage is to always do our best to support one another and work through problems together as a team. I would also like to thank the writers for being so open and vulnerable; it really helped normalize the issues we all face in our relationships.
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About the author

Kim Holderness was born and raised in Sarasota, Florida, and was a competitive dancer (once crowned Miss Dance Florida). She went to the University of Florida, then began her career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral, and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are bipartisan.) The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.

Penn Holderness was born in Durham, North Carolina, to a Presbyterian minister and a public school teacher. He was super into Boy Scouts, show choir, and synthesizers as a kid, so he wasn’t exactly a ladies’ man. He went to the University of Virginia, then started a two-decade career in TV journalism. Penn and Kim met in Orlando while working in local news and were married in 2005. In 2013 they left the TV business and launched a digital content company called Greenroom Communications. Part of that launch was a video called “Xmas Jammies” that went viral and led to appearances on GMA, the Today Show, Fox News Channel, and CNN. (Apparently Xmas Jammies are bipartisan.) The Holderness Family currently lives in Raleigh with their dog, Sunny.

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