Unexpecting: Real Talk on Pregnancy Loss

This book is truly a gift to the pregnancy and infant loss community. Rachel Lewis’ words resonated so well with my experiences of grieving after consecutive second trimester losses. I found myself nodding along and feeling all of my experiences validated as I read each chapter. This book can provide guidance on how to navigate decision making surrounding pregnancy loss, can help you know what to expect or anticipate how you may feel as time goes on, and can help you understand the feelings that you are having. It includes personal stories from the author and words from other loss parents, and it centers on helping the reader navigate their feelings, meeting them wherever they are at. Overall, the book has a strong sentiment of love, validation, and support throughout, leaving the reader with a feeling that they are not alone, that their experiences is normal, and that they are understood. This book would be helpful for people at any point in their grieving after losing a pregnancy. It is now on the top of my list of books to send to anyone experiencing a pregnancy loss at any gestation, and I still gained something from it even 4 and 5 years out from my stillbirths.

This is such an important book. I lost my baby 8 years ago. At the time, I felt lonely about it and it seemed as though so many people around me didn’t know what to say or how to act. It was a topic of secrecy..which was only more isolating. I remember feeling frustrated that family members wanted me to just move on as if nothing had happened. I wish I’d had this book then. Even all of these years later, this book still helped me. Our pain lives inside us long after the traumatic time has passed. Processing it is healing, whether it happened 2 months ago or many years. Processing also doesn’t mean forgetting. This book creates space for remembering and honoring your baby and yourself. I love that Rachel included information about what our bodies go through after baby loss. I appreciated the perspective of male partners offered in the book. Unexpected is affirming of our real and valid pain.