I'm Tom Weekly. This is a nail-biting – make that toe-biting – thrill ride through my life. This is where I pour out whatever's inside my head. Like the time a bloodthirsty magpie was out to get me, or when I had to eat Vegemite off my sister's big toe. And don't forget the day I ate 67 hot dogs in ten minutes. My life gets a bit weird sometimes but that's how I roll. Top three reasons to listen to this audiobook: 1. Cures for nits 2. Hover underpants 3. Instructions for teleporting