The Ultimate Dyke Handbook: 10 Humorous Tips to Survive a Relationship with a Femme

With a bit of wit and much heart, The Ultimate Dyke Handbook will help guide you through all the highs and lows of being with your Femme! With funny and insightful advice, you’ll soon be able to tackle any challenges that come your way and anticipate those unseen. This book isn’t politically correct nor is it a statement of stereotypical lesbian relationships. It is for Lesbians who can laugh out loud and find beautiful humor within the spectrum of our remarkably diverse and ever-expanding culture. It’s a humorous way to learn how to navigate relationships and handle any potential drama with your Femme.

You will learn about UFOs, IFOs, Suitcase Stuffers, and the TWINS. Those Twins are your Femme's "nose and her invisible eye" and are your Femme’s most dangerous asset. You will learn to satisfy the Twins at any cost within these rules.  NEVER cross the Twins!

This short book is pure humor. Nothing more. Nothing less. The intention is to make you laugh. These are not the rules of any household, nor do they define any queer relationship or give validity to the stereotyping of lesbians. This book is merely an opportunity to laugh. The ability to laugh at ourselves is a tremendous asset and a gift that keeps giving. Every culture has its humor, and within these pages, you'll undoubtedly find plenty of opportunity for a "humorous howl."

To my knowledge, there isn't a course that prepares a Butch, Dyke, or Stud on surviving within the Femme world. Your survival with a Femme depends on your awareness of and understanding of the game's rules. Rules? Yes, rules!

The rules are for understanding the game, not winning the game. However pessimistic this may appear, you will never, ever win. Get over it NOW! Your goal is to survive, period. Again, the goal is to remain with your Femme, and ignorance of this fact isn't bliss; it's stupidity! Your ethnicity, religion, financial status, or educational level doesn't matter. You'll need to understand the rules. This Handbook is why you need to READ and apply the tips you are about to learn. 

The book was written to prepare you for the World of Femmes. These tips will only cover some of what you need to know. Only life, living, and experience will do that. However, a safer bet is to commit these hacks to memory. If you have committed a grievous error that was covered, know that hell hath no fury like a mad Femme. Your life and sanity depend on it when dwelling in a Femme world! For those who wish to have a happy, healthy, and enduring relationship, learn the ten life tips that will allow you to prosper and, if you choose, multiply!

Laugh, learn, and enjoy as you read The Ultimate Dyke Handbook: 10 Humorous Tips to Survive a Relationship with a Femme, and I hope you never utter the words, “Oh No…Not the Twins.”

Asker Furst