Ebenezer Jenkins' Christmas in Chicago

Explore the soul-stirring and humorously sharp reimagining of the timeless classic, 'A Christmas Carol,' through a lens that is both unique and satirical. Join the lively storytelling duo, Madd and Dog2020, as they narrate a version that is sure to captivate even those who are not typically drawn to the Christmas spirit.

Step into the world of Ebenezer Jenkins, an unapologetic miser, and entrepreneur who manages the unconventional Glad Wrappings Funeral Home and Barbecue Joint. Here, irony is as abundant as the barbecue's flavor, offering you the chance to savor your uncle's renowned ribs in a posthumous celebration.

Ebenezer Jenkins, a steadfast Christmas cynic and averse to charitable acts, finds himself entangled with an unlikely partner: a crafty individual known as the "Serial Nutcracker." This pint-sized accomplice is infamous for attempting to physically relieve men of their wallets, albeit with limitations due to his stature. Nonetheless, his mischievous exploits inadvertently earn him a notorious reputation and provide his targets with both discomfort and amusement.

This twisted tale introduces a cast of eccentric characters and dark humor, offering a fresh and uproarious perspective on the beloved holiday story. Prepare to be entertained and to contemplate the true essence of the festive season.

Excerpt:

On Christmas Eve, snow, as delicate as lace panties from Victoria's Secret, graced Ebenezer's window. People, burdened with Christmas hams and bags of yams, stumbled along broken sidewalks. Some carried toys, lovingly purchased from the Wall of the Mart in China. Others indulged in cheap vodka and fruit punch, embarking on merry renditions of Christmas carols. Their melodies intertwined with snippets of old-time Gospel songs.

Swing low, silent jingle bells, As Mary weeps, all ye faithful come,

A rumpa dump rump, a rumpa dump come,

Oh come, ye to precious lord, Taking my hand to Jerusalem,

A rumpa dump rump, a rumpa dump come!

"Dead cats!" Ebenezer shouted at the carolers outside. They dispersed, but a sudden thump and a loud yowl echoed at his window. When he peered out, he was met with the lifeless gaze of a Persian cat, frozen to the ice on his window.