Our Search for Belonging: How Our Need to Connect Is Tearing Us Apart

Welcome to the new version of segregation. As I read the book, “Our Search for Belonging”, a strange thing happened. Each sentence I read made me want to lift the quote and send it to a friend, and eventually to the whole world. But especially I thought of my childhood best friend who has now abandoned the hard work of thinking in favor of quoting talking points his computer had accumulated that day. That friend found it too inconvenient to stick to the discussion point at hand when a platitude or two might work better for his purposes of defending his choices. From the reports in the book, this may not be unusual. So now, I think the case has been made by Howard Ross that the secret to human survival on this planet is in the quiet art of listening and thinking. Respectfully. Whatever happened to those skills? Not only does Howard Ross make thinking easier when he states the issues and the arguments on both sides so clearly, but the process of civil discourse is demonstrated in his explanations. Whatever is the communication du jour, his rational and pleasant and respectful method is on view for all to emulate. The nation is divided, almost exactly in half. The populous blue coasts v. the endless lightly populated red heartland. Like the football game where you cheer for your colors, you don’t even think about what is right or wrong, but rather you cheer your selected team to win by whatever means. But Howard Ross has the answers if only our nation and the whole world would read and listen and speak the way the Senators used to debate. “Will the distinguished Senator from the great state of X who might have missed a subtlety or two along the way, consider this amendment as a suitable compromise?” In many ways, this book is therapeutic. I was about to give up entirely on the pleasure of the debates we used to have on the 4th floor of the U. of Chicago dorm when our rag-tag student gang of 17 sliced and diced every subject including religion and politics and had respectful fun doing it. If we can prevail on a few more of our friends to read the book, we might be able to roll back time and clear the mud that seems to have clouded our vision. The medium (controlled anger) has become the message (there is no chance for respectful discourse). Let’s take heart and share the book with everyone we know. I used to take a position for or against a philosopher like Plato in dorm debates but listened carefully to the other side. If it truly made more sense to me, I would adopt it for the next discussion. Howard Ross has lived what he shares in his book. It is a much-needed book for these times. Notice I haven’t quoted anything. There was nothing I could leave out, so your assignment is to read the book! I can learn more about critical thinking from Howard Ross than I can from the TV news that generally takes one side or the other, so I will simply listen for a time to each opposing channel and think for myself. Thank you, Howard. I hope everyone reads your book and votes for the most logical solution to today’s problems after they think through the alternatives, regardless what color the team wears that day.