Ten Doors Down

· Steve Conoboy
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Ari has broken her phone again, and Mum's not replacing it this time. It’s Ari’s worst nightmare. No phone, no life. Her few friends don’t visit, not even Beth, hilarious queen of the bitches. Mum finds her a job. Ten doors down the street: The Mad House. Crazy Crossman lives there, a bristly and reclusive woman. She’s violent towards kids, they say. There’s strange noises at all hours of the day, they say.

It starts as bad as Ari expects - Crossman cannot stand the youth and has just about a million rules - and gets worse. The job is a messy, splattery clean-up in one part of the house - it's a disgusting mix of what looks like thick, multi-coloured paint and plasticine innards. Each day this mess is in another room, and Ari's curiosity skyrockets. It’s like the aftermath of a mad fight between strange creatures from some Other Place. But that’s crazy. There are no Other Places, and Miss Crossman is just some stiff old lady with odd thoughts about how to live.

A confrontation with Mr. Ribbles, the curtain-twitcher from across the street, leads to Crossman defending Ari and bringing her inside. They very nearly start bonding over tea and biscuits, but when Ari is left to let herself out, she hears the noise upstairs. She gets a snapshot-glimpse of Crossman’s bedroom before the door slams shut. She sees the impossible. No opposite wall, only a sweeping hill under impossibly blue skies. Another world.

Ari vows never to return to the Mad House...

This is a story of friendship across generations, of a lone woman's unknown power and sacrifice, and of responsibility without recognition. How far would you go to protect those who don't even care that you exist?

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Prologue : My parents met. (Prologues are never much use.)

Chapter One: I am born. The world blinks.

Chapter Two: I toddle. I am introduced to the works of Richard Scarry. The illustrations burn themselves into my tiny mind. This is followed by an intense interest in Winnie the Pooh and the Radio Times.

Chapter Three: Beanos and Dandys and tape recorders enter my life. I read the comic strips aloud, record these performances. Leads to writing my own stories, which are mostly about spaceships or murderous snakes.

Chapter Four: Santa brings a Commodore 64. Writing is forgotten.

Chapter Five: Teenage nerdism strikes. Dragonlance Chronicles are read. An attempt is made to copy them. Results are dreadful.

Chapter Six: Off to university to study ancient history and archaeology. Hat and whip not received. Compaints about this are ignored. University mostly a waste of time, apart from hours spent writing apocalyptic horror-comedy on 386 PC. It’s great.

Chapter Seven: Apocalyptic horror-comedy sent out to literary agents. None are interested. Novel not great. Mostly a waste of time.

Chapter Eight: A long period filled with much writing and many submissions and plenty of rejection letters. Decide I can’t stand prologues as they’re never much use.

Chapter Nine: Short stories accepted by Polluto, Voluted Tales and Kzine. Prompts a vigorous interest in Kindle Direct Publishing. First release is Macadamian Pliers, YA horror with an emphasis on creepy, spooky and other ooky things.

TO BE CONTINUED…

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