They say his clothes blend into the background, no matter where he stands. They say a lot of things about the Schwa, but one thingтАЩs for sure: no one ever noticed him. Except me. My name is Antsy Bonano, and I was the one who realized the Schwa was тАЬfunctionally invisibleтАЭ and used him to make some big bucks. But I was also the one who caused him more grief than a friend should. So if you all just shut up and listen, IтАЩll tell you everything there is to know about the Schwa, from how he got his name, to what really happened with his mom. IтАЩll spill everything. Unless, of course, тАЬthe Schwa EffectтАЭ wipes him out of my brain before IтАЩm doneтАж.