You Throw Like a Girl: The Blind Spot of Masculinity
About this ebook
In You Throw Like a Girl, former Syracuse University quarterback and NFL veteran Don McPherson examines how the narrow definition of masculinity adversely impacts women and creates many “blind spots” that hinder the healthy development of men. Dissecting the strict set of beliefs and behaviors that underpin our understanding of masculinity, he contends that we don’t raise boys to be men, we raise them not to be women.
Using examples from his own life, including his storied football career, McPherson passionately argues that viewing violence against women as a “women’s issue” not just ignores men’s culpability but conflates the toxicity of men’s violence with being male. In You Throw Like a Girl, McPherson leads us beyond the blind spots and toward solutions, analyzing how we can engage men in a sustained dialogue, with a new set of terms that are aspirational and more accurately representative of the emotional wholeness of men.
“One of the most important books ever written by a former elite male athlete.” —Jackson Katz, author of The Macho Paradox
“An essential exploration of what’s holding men and sports back—and how to overcome it.” —The Washington Post
“Don McPherson is a quarterback for a wider community.” —Newsday
“A crucial read for anyone interested in learning more about how sports culture informs limited definitions of masculinity, and how such definitions are destructive for boys and men, and dangerous to girls and women.” —The Undefeated (A Can’t Miss Book of 2019)
About the author
Don McPherson landed in the national spotlight as the heroic quarterback who led Syracuse University to an undefeated season in 1987. He followed this with stints with the Philadelphia Eagles and the Houston Oilers in the NFL, before concluding his football career in the Canadian Football League. Upon retiring from football in 1994 at age twenty-nine, McPherson has dedicated his life to helping reduce men's violence against women.
As McPherson probed his past to understand what it means to be a man, he unearthed the language of shame, bravado, and stoic posturing, quintessentially captured by the insult "You throw like a girl," which succinctly illustrates the foundation of men's violence against women: the belief that girls and women are somehow "less than." This led to a deeper, inescapable truth that we do not raise boys to be men; we instead raise them not to be women--or gay men.
Here, McPherson examines the strict set of behaviors and beliefs that he calls the mandate, performance, promise, and lie of masculinity, and arrives at the following question: if male privilege comes at the expense of women, is it truly privilege (and does it belong to men?), or is it more accurately defined as oppression?
The violence committed by athletes like NFL stars Ray Rice and Kareem Hunt might fit a familiar narrative of "violent black men" and entitled athletes. Similarly, the sexual abuse and misconduct by powerful and wealthy men from Hollywood to Congress is so commonplace that their cover-ups and hush money are held in greater disdain than their original crimes against women. Yet in each case, we fail to examine masculinity; we simply look away.
Using examples from his own life, including his storied football career, McPherson passionately argues that we should no longer consider this a "women's issue" but a "men's issue." In You Throw Like a Girl, McPherson analyzes how we can engage men in a sustained dialogue, with a new set of terms that are aspirational and more accurately representative of the emotional wholeness of men. If we do this honestly and courageously, McPherson says, we will find the depths of our humanity: vulnerability, fear, insecurity, and love.
