And once you start to understand it …. you suddenly realize that most of the feelings, desires and maybe thoughts were only … illusory things that dominated your life.
Me and my dear Arij started a philosophical journey … which we sometimes even name philosophical dance.
While dancing, we opened our hearts …. being very honest to each other … and concluded to a single thought …. one that defined life as an … illusion.
Writing down all what we have in our souls …. we ended with a book in our hands …. all being in fact the philosophical poems of our hearts.
Arij … as a young lady was listening to me … trying to understand how a man thinks.
Me …. on the other side …. I was very happy to hear the female spirit and see the other side of the story, the one that a man can’t usually see.
And the illusion … whispered to us so, so many times … that we had what to talk for many months in a row.
Today is weird … and even funny to read one more time all what we wrote … and even if everything was written from the soul … still so many contradictory tendencies make us wonder if we should define volatility of feelings, desires and thoughts …. as evolution or part of the illusory process of believing we are … alive.
We smiled … we laughed … and we always continued analyzing and defining all that we felt inside of our souls.
Reading again all those poems … reading in fact the masculine and the feminine view about the inner world … the own inner world … we realized in the end that maybe we are not so different as we thought.
We had … one single thought … and kept it in mind all the time.
Opening our eyes … or closing them … we saw the inner and the outside world … always … illusory.
We wanted to redefine this …. but we never succeed.
All we could do … was simple … smile in front of everything … and continue the philosophical dance.
But … we just … love doing it.
On …. and on … and on.
I’ve started to write my first book at 16 … but then … realizing i could not publish it … i’ve abandoned the idea of being a … writer.
20 years later … i’ve started to write again … believing i will finally succeed … but i’ve failed one more time … not getting the success i was chasing for.
Another 5 years later … i’ve started one more time to write … but this time … more as a therapy.
It’s what i’ve defined as … self therapy.
I was analyzing and defining lots of weird ideas … that were a lot related to me … and my own soul.
I totally forgot that i was chasing for success.
I was simple writing my thoughts … in essays … becoming this way … maybe not a writer …. but what many define as … an essayist.
This is not a poet … and not a writer.
Or maybe is kind of a poet that is incapable of writing poetry … but is still expressing his thoughts … into a similar way … as a poet.
And is not a writer … cause have not the ability to write for too long time … about the same subject.
But maybe i am not an essayist… either.
I am just an ordinary person … that could be better defined … as a thinker.
Analyzing … and defining my life … practicing this process called … self therapy … i started to understand life … and the way to better paths which i should follow.
And i’ve wrote … and wrote … and wrote … realizing one day that i’ve published tens of books …. not really understanding how the hell I’ve succeeded doing that.
Today i dare to recommend writing … as a therapy.
I could even say … it’s a simple way of understanding who we are … but also a process that could help us … heal our souls.
I personally continue to … write.
It’s in fact … a non ending story that … at least for myself … will probably continue for the rest of my life.
But over all … i am glad … i am doing it.
I continue my philosophical journey … not being able to define myself for clear as a writer or an essayist… but …
Well …. most probably… i am on a good path.
And … i would dare to recommend to everyone … all what i am doing today.