Mine to Treasure

I’ve been in love with a man I couldn’t claim as my own for ten years. 

Instead of giving into my heart’s desire, I broke his and married another.

Now, I’m divorced and the owner / operator of a kennel catering to military members. I’ve recruited most of the K9 handlers I served with—all of whom are now veterans—to come partner with me as we build a premier working dog training facility.

Last recruit on my list: the man whose love I refused.

Our on again / off again affair was a secret, or so we thought.

To say there is tension in the office is an understatement, but I hope Saint takes solace in my self-imposed misery. Truthfully, I got more pain than I deserved, and while I’ll never be able to take back the heartache I caused him, I can offer him the opportunity to be part of something bigger than all of us. 

He should hate me. I certainly do and have the scars—internally and externally—to prove it.

Except, he says he not only doesn’t hate me, but still wants me.

After all of these years, all this pain, I don’t understand why, but I’ve run out of excuses as to why we can’t be together and he knows it.

Maybe I’m heading into an emotional trap, one where he exacts his revenge by making me fall in love with him so he can break my heart? Jokes on him, I never stopped loving him.

If admitting my feelings gives him the closure he needs to let go of his lifelong demons and start this next phase with a clean slate, I guess that’s what I’ll have to do.

If it destroys me in the process, so be it. 

The possibility terrifies me, but letting him love me scares me even more.

He says he treasures me, but can I be the prize he says I am?

TW/CW: off-page DV / child loss, PTSD, and thoughts of self-harm