Shit My Dad Says
Jun 2010 · Pan Macmillan
4.4star
200 reviewsreport
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224
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About this eBook
'At 28 years old, I found myself living at home, with my 73-year-old father. As a child, my father never minced words, and when I screwed up, he had a way of cutting right through the bullshit and pointing out exactly why I was being an idiot. When I moved back in I was still, for the most part, an idiot. But this time, I was smart enough to write down all the things he said to me...'
Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says...
‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’
‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’
‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’
‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’
‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’
Meet Justin Halpern and his dad. Almost 1.5 million people follow Mr Halpern’s philosophical musings every day on Twitter, and in this book, his son weaves a brilliantly funny, touching coming-of-age memoir around the best of his sayings. What emerges is a chaotic, hilarious, true portrait of a father and son relationship from a major new comic voice. As Justin says at one point, his dad is ‘like Socrates, but angrier, and with worse hair’; and this is the sort of shit he says...
‘You know, sometimes it’s nice having you around. But now ain’t one of those times. Now gimmie the remote, we’re not watching this bullshit.’
‘Happy Birthday, I didn’t get you a present... Oh, mom got you one? Well, that’s from me then, too – unless it’s shitty.’
‘Your brother brought his baby over this morning. He told me it could stand. It couldn’t stand for shit. Just sat there. Big let down.’
‘The worst thing you can be is a liar . . . Okay, fine, yes, the worst thing you can be is a Nazi, but THEN, number two is liar. Nazi 1, Liar 2.’
‘Why the f**k would I want to live to 100? I’m 73 and shit’s starting to get boring. By the way, there’s no money left when I go, just fyi.’
Ratings and reviews
4.4
200 reviews
Nicola Elsworth
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19 July 2013
A fabulous book with genuine stories. I was reading this on the train and couldn't stop laughing at one point so had to put it down! I think it's quite hard to put humour in writing so have to say that it's very well written and despite him being American and me British I understood everything and could imagine the accent and scenarios. During and after reading this book, I wished that he was my dad!
4 people found this review helpful
A Google user
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23 October 2012
It was an easy read, finished in a few hours. Some laugh out loud moments. Thanks to the dad, I'm feeling like the most compassionate Mom in the world right now! Must toughen up!!!
A Google user
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15 October 2012
Laughed out loud. This was right up my f**king alley!! Wished there were more pages. I think I am in love with Dad! ;-)
About the author
Justin Halpern is a screenwriter who has worked in both web, film and television. In late 2007, he was hired to start the comedy website holytaco.com, which, when he left in May of 2009, averaged more than 2 million visitors per month. He is currently developing a television show with CBS based on 'Shit My Dad Says', the Twitter feed which now has 1.4million followers. He is also 29 years old, and still living at home with his dad . . .
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