CONNECTION … NOT CONNECTIONS: essays about useless … amazing pathless paths

Yes ... I prefer to write ... cause is a much better way to understand my perceptions.

.... and i already do it by a long time, all being soft of a self therapy ... defining all my thoughts... even if most of them are so, so contradictory...

The number one question is what the hell is this weird concept called ... connection?! ... and what is its meaning?!

Well ... more i think about it ... i become more and more confused.

I have moments when i believe i had found the real truth ... but also moments when i am just disappointed of my disability of penetrating deeper the secrets of life.

The only real thing that i know for sure ... is that the spiritual connection is the one that can help us ... get rid of all related with the illusory of life.

And going deeper .... seeing all sorts of connections ... i ask again ... what is a love story?!

What is its meaning?!

Why we feel so, so changed when we find that person which we call .... soulmate?!

What is happening with us ... while being into such a connection .... but also why the hell we realise into the end that all was illusory?!

I smile ... but ... again ... no matter what ideas would come into my mind ... i still feel that actually this is not really a path to follow.

And i'm writing that ... after personally testing all what i am saying ...

I continue my meditations and into my mind appears a much weird idea ... revealed by the people which are feeling good together ... but still after an experience of life ... after being involved into lots of relationships... knowing the fact that after a while .... even the most beautiful love story becomes boring .... and being realistic enough ... they start allowing themselves to practice the art of being a swinger.

And i will not bother to explain the concept... cause everyone knows it ... but it's probably a way of accepting... that we actually need to taste more than one energy.

They simple can't stay .... just in one connection... adoring to occasionally taste other souls too ...

The theory itself ... looks so, so weird.

... and immoral of course.

But ... on the other hand ... can be accepted consciously... or

... by force ...

Cause ... yes ... cheating is not immoral ... but a simple result of the fact the energy of the connection with the partner ... is not anymore all we wanted ... and actually needed for having the soul fulfilled with beautiful vibes.

So ... i could even say that the swingers are actually... wise persons.

Many would judge me ... for saying such a thing ... but ...

But i continue my analyses ... and i dare to ask myself ... how the hell lives a monk alone into the monastery?!

How can a human being live without a partner of life?!

Is that really possible for us to live without the connection of the opposite sex?!

I found that as ... weird too ... but somehow i've felt that life itself has many stages of evolution.

Some ... find themselves into a relationship ... which gives them all they ever dreamed about.

All the necessary energy comes from that story ... making them happy all the time.

Others ... being honest enough ... with a lot of experience of life ... admitting the truth that only one type of energy is never enough for their souls ... go on the path of allowing themselves to taste other souls too.

... at least from time to time.

And i see the monk ... but even if in my perceptions this was a too weird scenario ... i start to realise that the monk is actually chasing for the connection with the absolute.

He was most probably like all the other humans ... having desires, wishes, lots of values in common with the society... but abandoned all seeing its ephemerality.

The new purpose was only to chase for the infinite connection ... meanwhile ... into the real world ... practising the solitude...

But even if i write all those questions ... with an answer to each of them .... i know i did not find the real answer.

No ...

And it's even worst ... cause i feel that i am too far away ... of the absolute truth, the result being that into my real life ... i am actually in connection... in connections ... or disappointed of all ... i see myself practicing ... the solitude... disconnecting from everything and everyone ... having the hope that ... the real path to follow in life will be revealed to me.